To work, or not to work.  That is the question.  In my past life, I worked in marketing communications and really loved my job.  I was lucky to be employed with, in my opinion, one of the best companies in the world.  I made some great friends there, some of my best friends even.  We worked hard and played hard, and we were all very happy.

Then came the financial crisis, and right after, the automotive crisis.  Did I mention I worked for an automotive finance company?  It was the perfect shit storm and before you knew it I was watching my colleagues, some of whom I had come to cherish very dearly, being walked out of the building, severance packages in hand.  I was "lucky" enough to stay on until I found another job, but it was one of the most brutal things I have ever had to endure during my career.  Needless to say, it left a scar, and now I'm not so sure the corporate world is one I want to belong to any longer.

I found out I was pregnant two weeks into my new job.  My pregnancy made me a HORRIBLE employee.  I was afraid to tell anyone I was expecting for fear I would be let go in the first three months (employers in Ontario can terminate an employee in the first three months for any reason they deem fit, pregnant or not.)  It's actually kind of funny when I look back....the many times I got caught sleeping at my desk, in the bathroom stall or in my car in the parking lot, the many times I sobbed into my brand new co worker's shoulder because I forgot to bring a spoon for my yogurt (or some other equally ridiculous reason), or the many times I snapped at my other coworker because she used the wrong version of the word "there" in her text.  (Actually, that last part is more sad than funny.  That girl is a trained professional and should know better.)

Any who, I can admit that my pregnancy made me a pretty crappy employee and I won't be looking for references from any of the folks that were forced to endure my behaviour during those nine months.

So now, here I am. My maternity leave officially ended today and I am not sure what I am going to do.  I absolutely LOVE being home with my daughter, but now that we are in a new city I am craving adult conversation and as bright as Sommer is, she isn't much of a conversationalist.  It has also recently been brought to my attention that I need to work on my social skills.  Apparently living alone with an infant can leave a person slightly shell shocked. Who knew?  ;)